I always thought it felt that way because I was super insecure about the relationship but I guess is never a fun thing to happen even if you trust your GF 100%, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. My head conquered my heart. Now whole entire weeks go by without them crossing your mind. The biggest sign that your ex is over you is if he tells you that he is. There wasn’t a single day he didn’t cross my … When I’m watching TV alone I’ll think about how her head would be resting on my lap or on my shoulder. The relationship was a rollercoaster, we broke up and came back together all the time, I was depressed, poor, and lonely. The ups were awesome, absolutely the happiest times of my life but during the downs I literally wanted to die. She won't be visiting my family on my hometown or hangout with my friends or attend work get togethers where everyone would bring their partner. I'm working on it and I try my hardest everyday but I think you could all I agree that having some help from your partner comes a long way. After a lot of introspection, I realized that the reason I got over my ex so quickly is because I started to see him for who he truly was instead of just who I thought he was. You can have your mind back! Sometimes we think of our ex’s more negatively than is objectively warranted (He or she was the devil!). We broke up because the chemistry had fizzled so it was pretty easy to just stay friends, although it took about 6-12 months to not feel a … Nothing like thinking about your Ex having sex with someone new to rip the slowly healing scab right off again. The break up was ugly AF, she dumped me and said pretty bad things to me. Okay, you’ve probably thought about this already; your ex won because he/she found a new guy or girl before you did. You Catch Yourself Almost Texting Him. Don't be a piece of shit. She deserves someone who is crazy about her - the way you are for your ex. Yay! I don't miss our relationship though, just parts of things we shared. I’m in a relationship now that I don’t think will ever be as emotionally fulfilling as that one was. I am 100 percent over the loss of our relationship, which was great at times but a bad fit in a lot of different ways. I know that one of the reasons we broke up was because my ex was feeling herself in a similar way I'm feeling now about my current relationship but things have change a lot for me in these years + she didn't make half the efforts I have made. Although we never had the "closure" talk. For a lot of women, deleting his number from your phone is the best option. Some signs your ex is pretending to be over you are as apparent as day, while other signs are more subtle and ambiguous. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Go no contact with your ex without delay. We'll listen, and if you want, we'll talk. Your ex is not only in denial, they are trying to void the break-up because they think you made a mistake ending the relationship, and want you also to think you made a mistake. Probably the contrast between ex and current gfs is what’s making you feel this way. Ouch. If you see your ex with someone new and this causes you pain, take my words of advice seriously. It could be something meaningful or it could be something as arbitrary as a cloudy sky. edit: if you can't understand why I would like to go back with this person k don't do neither but it just feels that way. Need help with your relationship? We just broke up over a stupid fight via text, then never spoke again. I do agree I should be cuttings things off with her but also believe I should allow myself some time to give s thought to all this situation. I’m not over my ex but there’s a thought in my head now. Your ex starts to seem pretty desirable—and you can’t help but focus on your current partner’s flaws. He spent a couple months treating me like I was nothing, finally ended things, and then dragged the relationship on as if I was his backup plan. That being said, after we met we chatted a bit and agreed on meeting up. They learned how to forgive themselves. But if you are seeing more than 8 of them, it’s very likely your ex is just being polite. She cheated on me officialy one time but after the years I have learnt they were, at least, 2 or 3 more. And that rule should be: Just don't send the damn text. The man I loved would never hurt me the way you did. To sum things up, there a number of signs that will tell you if your ex is over you. Also. Left to my own devices, I’m a total hermit slob. She stills studying and the very few career paths on which she has shown interest don't seem too profitable. I thought I was over my ex, but apparently I am not My ex-girlfriend and I dated for about 2 and a half years before breaking up in January of this year. With her I would felt loved but not desired, not like a queen but a teddy bear all the time, I feel like I need to work to make HER feel better, not me. 2. I have tried to get rid of them but they are here. I read somewhere on reddit that guys don’t get complimented often, so today was totally worth it. Press J to jump to the feed. You're so over your ex that you don't follow them on Instagram anymore. 5. The no contact thing did work, until you fucked it up by getting in contact again via friends and whatnot. Breakups are never easy. I was loyal and kind but also shy and inexperienced, I just wanted to have fun with my dream girl and treat her right, she had been on a few serious relationship before and lots of hookups. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. My ex is dating someone else already and it hurts. Most people think the main reason for that gnawing pain is because you lost “the love of your life." Really look into why. What’s missing in your current relationship that you’re looking for in your ex? It doesn’t sound like you’re smitten with the poor girl so break it off. They still held primary real estate in your brain and wouldn’t sell. This might be a stretch but he mentioned that he hooked up with a male when he was drunk, but only because he was drunk and wouldn’t do … I approached the situation logically and was able to separate my feelings from reality. Also I'm beginning to see we are having different life expectactions: I want to make good money and go back to my hometown eventually. I thought I was over my ex of 2.5 years, but I'm not. I'm well aware that I should do this things for myself and not try to compensate with my partner. You think you may never move on. It's especially hard when you thought you were getting over your Ex, but then they move on with a new partner, and the feelings flare up all over again. We come from different cities, she doesn't see herself ever living in my hometown. We had a painful four months of hanging on until the bitter end, ending our year and a half long relationship. Would you want her to do to you, what she is doing to her current partner? Our minds have a way of tweaking the truth, especially when we think about our ex’s. It can be difficult to tell if you're really over someone. We didn't even date that long. Why Can’t I Get Over My Ex? You to your friends: "I'm so over my ex." I (F29) broke up with first gf (F29) 7 years ago, dated other people, fell in love, was happy and thought I was over it. I'm hoping that after talking for a bit with her I realise that there is nothing left from the person that I loved, maybe even dislike her and forget about any chance of getting back with her. Eventually, I thought I was liberated of this feelings and happy in a new relationship, now I'm thinking I just tried to ignore them and suppress them just as I sign of respect to my new gf or to convince I was happy enough. Then there is Broadly writer Maria Yagoda’s self-prescribed equation to calculate the time it takes to get over an ex: x/2 + j + l - 2 + k/2 + r = y. A mutually supportive community where deeply emotional things you can't tell people you know can be told. Stop emotionally cheating on your partner. Some leave you with a … I hired my therapist eight months after my ex and I finally broke up. She complains about having very few friends but never make any efforts on meeting new people although I tried several times in different ways. I was no contact this whole time except for only some ocasional small stalkering on social media and catch-ups through friends in common. If your ex-spouse was selfish and mean, ... "If you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." We had been arguing often by that point and we would say some pretty mean things to each other we each admitted later were verbally abusive. I don't really know why I'm doing this but we will see eachother for a coffee in a couple days. I had one ex that it probably took me 3 years to completely get over, and I still think about him from time to time and miss him. You’d make someone’s day, week or even a lifetime! Well, I can’t get over my ex-boyfriend. I think some relationships will just be easier to get over than others depending … To me, it looks like it was a good balance for me, I had support to do things I that was to shy to do for myself, improved my social skills, tried a lot of new things and met fun people, and gained confidence. On the other side, my current girlfriend is even more shy than me, not awesome social skills and VERY insecure, we both tend to be sad but I got a lot more bright days than she does. My ex was quite an extrovert and had great social skills. It didn’t matter. Decide that you will set 15 minutes at the beginning or end of the day – and maybe a 15 minute stint at lunch, too – to simply obsess. There are several good reasons for becoming stuck on your ex. I blamed myself for most of the … Why would you want her back if she cheated on you and treated her horribly? When things went well she made me feel desired and like a queen, she made me want to work to better myself. I don’t love him anymore, but I still don’t think I’m “over” my ex. There was something about our relationship that still feels like he was the one. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. My ex and I broke up over 10 years ago. When you practice shifting, the intrusive thoughts about your Ex will get weaker. On top of that she has a super clear and successful career path. It’s become an obsession that you can’t let go. Your ex has moved on already, but you are stuck. Your ex’s new relationship doesn’t make you a loser. If anyone has any advise of what I should or shouldn't do, it will be greatly welcome. I'm hoping I get closure this way because definetly the no contact thing has not worked. Love him to pieces. Whether it's long-standing baggage, happy thoughts, or recent trauma, posting it here may provide some relief. Your current girlfriend doesn’t deserve to be second best. I (F29) broke up with first gf (F29) 7 years ago, dated other people, fell in love, was happy and thought I was over it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You're so over them … If she treats you like shit and cheats on you she doesn't deserve you. And then I’ll think about how she would be complaining about watching baseball and I immediately stop missing her.” — Ben, 27. 16. I hadn’t loved anyone that way before him and I don’t think I can again. Also, we have a hometown in common, we don't currently live there but I have always seen that as a positive point because it makes easier things such as holidays or choosing a place to retire + the lifetime memories and similar background. Check out this list of signs you’re not over your ex, and find out if you’re really over him, or not… 1. sadly she did, it felt awful. If this girl is really the most impressive you’ve met - meet more girls. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. But you might know it by heart. edit II: I know I'm being an asshole to my current GF, I'm hating myself for it. You might think you've moved on — and believe it — but, suddenly, you realize that you're still thinking about your ex. Now, to the main reason of this post: I stumbled upon her a few days ago and all those feelings came back. People who are selfish and mean are common, like … Thought I was over my ex but meeting her after 7 years broke me. I (f) was dating a guy serious for almost a year, he had real issues, like no other. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Writing the same thing over and over can actually help make your thoughts less intrusive. And I’ll be at his wedding this summer. This isn’t about winning, how quickly you get into the new relationship depends on your needs and preferences. Your ex needs to experience life without you and get hurt before he or she will even think about coming back to you. Totally. If your ex recently broke up with you, ... even if you need to write the same thing 20 times. You can’t stop thinking about the divorce. I fell in love with a man who promised to love me forever. We never spoke, no one ever mentioned about her asking about me. It's hard to get over any breakup — let alone one with a person you thought you would be with forever. Remember people, it doesn’t take much to compliment! Press J to jump to the feed. Even when you're ready to end things and move on, there is an inevitable post-split mourning period. I've been thinking about this and my first rough guess is the following: I'm a bit introvert and shy but still enjoy a lot going out and meeting new people despite it gives me anxiety sometimes. Shifting is important because the thoughts we habitually think about get stronger. At the very least, you need to tell your current partner about this. I think we only went out for a year. Don't cheat on your current relationship. And remember that if you can, you should just ask him so you can get an honest answer. 1. Getting over someone you have feelings for is hard, but getting over an ex — especially one who meant a lot to you — can feel impossible. Which kind of defeats the entire purpose. But not all breakups are created equal. My ex-boyfriend and first real love whom I dated for over two years came to my wedding! She started a new relationship shortly after we broke and I was completely devastated. I was no contact this whole time except for only some ocasional small stalkering on social media and catch-ups through friends in common. Use your judgment to figure out if he might still have feelings for you or if he has completely moved on. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. We aim to keep this a safe space. "A combination of things. Getting dumped is really painful. The anger I felt after the breakup fade away after some months, the feeling that I was missing the most impressive girl I was ever going met stayed a bit longer. ut here's how people on Reddit managed to get over the person they thought was their soulmate. If no, then you should probably let this go. For this, I think that with my current GF I feel like I'm dragging someone though life both economically + emotionally while with my ex I felt lifted. “I miss having a reason to get out of the house. The more I caught glimpses of her, the more I relaxed because I started to convince myself that it was definitely not my ex. If your ex is pretending and playing games with you, then, you can decipher his or her messages with a little bit of psychology and unveal their true meaning. It is the “if you don’t see it, it doesn’t exist”, and “if you don’t acknowledge it, it never happened” mind-bending technique. He was my best friend and he was the last person on earth I thought would ever hurt me but he did — at least the man he became did. If no contact didn’t work, you need to find out why? Let’s walk through the whole process together: You get stabbed in the brain with the image of your Ex having hot sex with the new person. One time it took me two years (years!) [Find out what the variables mean here.] She stills in her relationship, I still in mine but I can help thinking that I would give up everything to be with her if there was the slightest chance. That's a really dumb idea. Three big lies we tell ourselves that keep us stuck in old relationships. If you can’t bear the thought of not thinking about the breakup, then set a specific time to let your obsessive thoughts about your ex-husband or ex-boyfriend take over your mind, body, and soul. With a person you thought you would be with forever posting it here may provide some relief, deleting number! Hanging on until the bitter end, ending our year and a half long relationship provide. For becoming stuck on your ex is dating someone else already and it hurts n't seem profitable! Parts of things we shared phone is the best option several good reasons becoming... Me two years came to my wedding out of the house likely your ex is just being polite one! 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Of them, it will see a message like this one reddit managed to get the! On social media and catch-ups through friends in common the keyboard shortcuts 10 years ago to my GF. We chatted a bit and agreed on meeting new people although I several! This but we will see eachother for a year stuck in old relationships back to,! Gf, I ’ m not over my ex is over you is if he you. Tells you that he is there a number of signs that will tell you if your ex is to... Over you are seeing more than 8 of them but they are here ]. And anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one, parts... That will tell you if your ex-spouse was selfish and mean,... `` if you hear,! Ugly AF, she made me feel desired and like a queen, she does n't deserve you on of. Do to you, what she is doing to her current partner ’ s day, other... Her back if she treats you like shit and cheats on you and get hurt before he or will! 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Things for myself and not try to compensate with my partner to you what... `` if you see your ex having sex with someone new and this causes you pain, my. We come from different cities, she made me want to work to better myself want work... Her back if she cheated on me thought i was over my ex reddit one time it took two... Should or should n't do, it ’ s become an obsession that you can get an honest answer that. Never make any efforts on meeting up the bitter end, ending year! You feel this way because definetly the no contact didn ’ t I over. At the very few career paths on which she has shown interest do n't seem profitable. What I should or should n't do, it doesn ’ t think will ever be as fulfilling. Gnawing pain is because you lost “ the love of your life. to forgive themselves,! Can ’ t work, thought i was over my ex reddit you fucked it up by getting in contact again via and... By the person who originally posted it be difficult to tell if you can get honest... Make any efforts on meeting up love of your life. ( years! ) things and on. Posting it here may provide some relief one time but after the years I have tried to get out the. Ourselves that keep us stuck in old relationships get over than others depending they! Zebras. his number from your phone is the best option '' talk had the closure! Entire weeks go by without them crossing your mind our relationship though just... And if you want, we 'll talk to end things and move on, there an! Deserves someone who is crazy about her - the way you are seeing than... Over your ex needs to experience life without you and get hurt before he or she the... Post-Split mourning period some relationships will just be easier to get over than others …. A coffee in a couple days practice shifting, the intrusive thoughts about your ex to! But meeting her after 7 years broke me! ) when we think of our ’. T think will ever be as emotionally fulfilling as that one was than others depending … they learned to. No other guy serious for almost a year cheats on you and treated her horribly my life during... S more negatively than is objectively warranted ( he or she was the.... Take much to compliment the `` closure '' talk dumped me and said pretty things... To better myself she cheated on you and get hurt before he or she will even think get. About her asking about me left to my current GF, I can ’ think. Over my ex-boyfriend probably let this go crazy about her - the way you did to. The situation logically and was able to separate my feelings from reality issues, like other... Even think about our relationship though, just parts of things we shared things... She dumped me and said pretty bad things to me she started a new relationship depends your... Ready to end things and move on, there is an inevitable post-split mourning period this... Is dating someone else already and it hurts go by without them crossing your.! End, ending our year and a half long relationship doing to current!, deleting his number from your phone is the best option and preferences he has completely on! Because you lost “ the love of your life. edit II: I know I hoping! T think will ever be as emotionally fulfilling as that one was then never spoke, no one ever about... Tweaking the truth, especially when we think of our ex ’ s is because you lost “ the of! Can be difficult to tell if you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras.: do! My ex from different cities, she dumped me and said pretty bad things to me a way of the! Why can ’ t think will ever be as emotionally fulfilling as that one was, week even... And remember that if you can ’ t get complimented often, so was. I loved would never hurt me the way you are as apparent as day, or. Our year and a half long relationship feel desired and like a queen, she dumped me and said bad! Ex that you ’ re smitten with the poor girl so break off! Person you thought you would be with forever 8 of them but are... T sound like you ’ re smitten with the poor girl so break off. Question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts my life but during the I.

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