Brown, 8 Awkward Dating Moments for Returned Missionaries. I think people confuse being offended with reacting to being offended. It’s becoming a victim of other people’s choices, many times when they don’t even mean to offend you. It is almost as if we are being told we have to choose a side. When Russel Nelson said that members using the word Mormon to refer to the Church is a victory for Satan and offends Jesus, I couldn’t help but think of David Bednar’s talk about how being offended is a choice.. Being offended isn't a mark of virtue - it's a sign that you're a crybaby who will throw a tantrum if you can't get your way. The truth is, it was never our debt to hold over them, and we do in subtle ways. But it is our choice to TAKE offence. If you don’t mind living in the heart of Mormon country, BYU can be a good choice, especially in terms of private school value. This is wrong. Can you imagine what a tragedy it is that so many people stay home from church, withdraw from activities, and many times leave the church because they’ve been offended. She specializes in video content. Yet one day, when Lily was just shy of 10 years old, her father was supposed to pick her up for a weekend at his house. If I react by plugging my nose or leaving the area, I'm making a choice. 6:19-20). So when Rachel suggested that her father abandoned her, I could tell that Lily felt flabbergasted and a little hurt. We’ve all been offended. It’s never easy to realize that you’ve handled a situation poorly or done something wrong. It’s giving away your power. It’s an excuse made by people to cover up for their failures and shortcomings. Since I am, in fact, LDS, I didn’t think about how culturally/religiously insensitive I was being to imply that someone might have trouble adjusting to life in a Mormon enclave if they aren’t LDS. Offended: to commit an offense. Whether we shun them or argue (our reaction) is a choice. The LORD showed his wrath to the merchants at the Temple who made of it a mockery and a business. LOG IN; REGISTER; settings. When an individual is offended, they choose to be angry, frustrated or otherwise feel animosity toward another individual as a result of an action or statement which was made. It is difficult to hear when someone says it back to me in the middle of an emotional meltdown of my own. Even still, her words echo a lot of ours when we realize that someone else was hurt by our hand: we use “Being offended is a choice!” as a way to wash our hands of any responsibility for what we say and how it affects someone else. in my experience it is a learned sexual response and a choice. Rachel had, of course, just been defensive in the moment, as many of us have experienced. . The real measure of our discipleship is how we treat other people — so treat them kindly. To give you a little context, Rachel was upset with her father, who she felt wasn’t as emotionally available to her as he should be. In other words, if we want to hold another in our debt. We choose offense. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.” To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.” I know Shan. Anger is a word that is so easily thrown around and broadly used that its meaning has become clouded in a multitude of interpretations. It is a very fine example of King Benjamin’s natural man. Not for thy righteousness, or for the uprightness of thine heart, dost thou go to possess their land: but for the wickedness of these nations the LORD thy God doth drive them out from before thee, and that he may perform the word which the LORD sware unto thy fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.' I just realize that God gave me my name, my person, my car and its effects, my business and the items in it, my home and its contents, my family and all I have. But here’s the rub: never getting your feelings hurt is really hard, and I honestly don’t think Elder Bednar was saying that if we are upset by someone else’s actions or words, we’re an out-of-line snowflake. When we encounter someone who left the Church because they were offended, we shouldn't just brush it off as some trivial thing. Being Offended Is a Choice We Make. I’ve known a few people who can manipulate the most innocuous statement to insinuate offense. 'Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:' (Matt. May 28, 2015 - Amanda Rettke is the nationally-recognized, top baking blogger behind the dessert and food blog, I Am Baker. Would any of us take up the assumption that any of those men who repented there would have been answered 'No, you get no forgiveness, I seek only your punishment!'? Of course, not getting offended in the first place is something we’re all working toward — being able to completely school our hearts and feelings so that when people are unkind, especially intentionally, it doesn’t make us feel bad about ourselves. Since The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints uses an almost complete lay … (Alma 61) Elder David A. Bednar talks about making the choice not to be offended. (Deut. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a, condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something, Topics: choices, attitude, relationships, offense, (David A. Bednar, "And Nothing Shall Offend Them," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 90). Despite his faults, her father is a wonderful man who does a lot for Rachel and her family; however, in moments of anger, Rachel has suggested a few times that her father abandoned her. Amy Carpenter is the site manager and editor for LDSBlogs.com. And just as someone chooses to be offended, we can choose to love each other and be kind to one another. But their debt is not owed to us, as many think. PC, I'm not sure anyone has said we shouldn't be outraged by anything. “I don’t need to censor myself around anyone, and it’s the devil’s work to make us offended,” she said angrily. By While we, at times are hurt either physically or mentally, the choice, whether we want to be offended or not. Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 ESV / 311 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful. Whether we have caused that pain or been the recipient of the pain, those wounds need to be healed so that life can be as rewarding as God intended it to be. But, His work of destruction was not upon the merchants but on the merchandise which He had given them. This caused me to ponder about feeling offended, was I able to control this perception? The purpose was to destigmatize those who had ordered a hit on their unborn child, in the guise of having a medical procedure performed. The answer is yes. Thanks, hawkgrrl. - David A. Bednar ... We are the ones we've been waiting for. (D&C 64:10). … Latter-day Saints follow the teachings of the prophets. This applies to being offended as well. Jun 16, 2019 - “To be offended is a choice we make...” -David A. It's a gift. susieSA, October 10, 2007 in LDS Gospel Discussion, ---------------------------------------------------, "Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited, things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us, to take offense. The Ego blends these two together at the same time and projects a “valid feeling”. I love this quote! May 28, 2015 - Amanda Rettke is the nationally-recognized, top baking blogger behind the dessert and food blog, I Am Baker. Quotes By Genres. When I think about the act of taking offense, it seems a choice is made to filter another person’s remarks through our … "Be angry--and sin not!". In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:13–14). I have been called names, physically attacked, robbed, my car has been broken into and items stolen, my business broken into and/or stolen from (many times), my home broken into, my father was robbed and murdered, and plenty more. Of course, I am mighty good in assisting people to decide to be offended. Sometimes new converts to the faith, especially when coming from a Catholic background, are offended at some of the words contained within Moroni 8. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. We are going to become hurt at times because of someone else’s actions, try as hard as we might not to — and we should try not to. Stake Conference Talk given October 25, 2015 We are living in a unique time. In another Black History Month event, students watched snippets of a film called "Nobody Knows: The Untold Story of Black Mormons," by Margaret Young and Darius Gray. The LORD said: 'I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.' For example, the smell of bleach offends my nostrils. For the official Church websites, please visit ChurchOfJesusChrist.org or ComeUntoChrist.org. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. Leaving the 99 to rescue the one is Christ-like service. The other person only said something. Saying “I’m sorry” is a simple antidote that can heal deep wounds, and it takes a brave, courageous person to admit that they messed up and can do better. (Someone offended me and now they are in my debt? I was just telling you so that you could be aware. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to, offend you or to offend me. So please, don’t use your tongue as a sword and then be shocked when someone is wounded. It’s almost unfathomable to me that a person would ever let someone else keep them from coming to church. If one can develop a humorous approach to life, it seems so much easier. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others. Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Adults should be able to think for themselves and peacefully discuss their priorities. 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