And matters are made even worse when Manjua is just randomly watching Kwik-E-Mart security tapes and finds proof of the affair. Look. And Stonewall Jackson, stop rollerblading! You'd think that would deter me, but no. I love that he stayed at a difficult job to pay off the student loans for his PhD. I need some supplies. (GROANING) Welcome, steady customer. So cold. I order you to get back together or I'll suck your blood! This is identified as among the best series of articles produced by the Wikipedia community. 0. (originally aired May 5, 2002) Funny how we got two John Swartzwelder shows in a row; the last one being surprisingly sharp, and this one being… well, the exact opposite. I love his optimism. What would that accomplish? MARGE: Yeah! Oh. At the Golden Banana? Justice. It’s not really a thing here in Colorado, because the Civil War didn’t really occur out here, but do people seriously pretend that they’re fighting in the Civil War in the South? Synopsis: Apu is a jobless former student dreaming vaguely of a future as a writer. "Number four, legally change name to Slime Q. If you can improve it further, please do so. ( Log Out /  Sure. (WOMAN MOANING) APU: Squishee Lady, you've had less than eight kids, haven't you? Apu, the operator of the famed Kwik-E-Mart, is a South Asian character voiced by Hank Azaria. Come on, guys! Well, we’ve seen Apu learn to love, get married, and have babies, so let’s tackle infidelity. Dirty love. I just wish there was something we could do. I am truly screwed. Okay. Please help out by editing it. Hello, Sign in. Blah, blah! Okay, I'm McBain. Perhaps there is another way. " Are you sure you don't want to come? USA! I have known we were meant to be together ever since my mother forced me to marry you. Apu's marriage is on the rocks after Manjula finds out he cheated on her. After initial revulsion at the idea, Apu … Yeah, but I'm a recovering alcoholic, so One drink won't hurt. Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Werewolf? What are you doing? The Sweetest Apu. Girls night out! All right. Unfortunately the first step is to break things off with the Squishee lady, and when he tries to, he apparently just has more sex with her. Nothing! (BOTH MOANING) (SCREAMING) What's a eunuch? Slimedog. (GROANING) I'll just get the shuttlecock. Hey, Marge, you care for a tropical drink? After the children have left, Apu believes that the Squishee delivery lady has made a pass at him, by calling him handsome. Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on May 5, 2002. (COUGHING) Mine tastes like dog fur! And here's proof. This episode’s pretty good. I've gotta return this keg. Gotta admit though, that is pretty hot. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. The octuplets said their first words. The Simpsons "The Sweetest Apu" TBA v - e - d. Media; Main Characters. I keep telling you, off-camera, he's a desperately unhappy man. But it’s clear that Manjula doesn’t really want the divorce, as shown by how creeped out she is by the sketchy divorce attorney who just wants to milk Apu for all he’s worth. She likes you. It's in pretty bad shape. But things really fall apart when a group of World War II veterans start getting senility/PTSD flashbacks and decide to hop in a tank and join the fray. "Number three, get cartoon published in New Yorker. Account & Lists Account Returns & Orders. I'm just gonna drain the area around your wound. Scríobh John Swartzwelder an eipeasóid seo. Oh, my God. So she gets pissed, and kicks Apu out of the house, causing him to move into some creepy apartment for bachelors where Kirk Van Houten lives. (MUSIC PLAYING) Come on, Barney. Don't worry, I soaked it in the toilet to soften it up. Yeah! That's good adultery! Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Here you go. The Simpsons (1989) - S13E19 Comedy - Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. No, no! We're gonna be late! I bought the issue for Richard Avedon's pictures of Lenny. I know. No! For me, the war is over! (MUTTERING) Now, we have eight children. The Simpsons try to help him reconcile with his wife. 19 - The Sweetest Apu. Exotic male dancers at the Golden Banana! You may now move back with your family and your never-ending disgrace. Well, we had fun. No. "The Simpsons" The Sweetest Apu (TV Episode 2002) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. Read, review and discuss the entire The Problem with Apu movie script by Sean Quetulio on Scripts.com I love Apu. (SCREAMS) (BRAKES SCREECHING) (CHILDREN CLAMORING) Manjula, why did you bring the octuplets to work? If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Aired 18 years ago - May 05, 2002 . I get to stand around watching you sell fatty poisons to overfed Americans. MAN 1 I need one twenty-nine-cent stamp. Squishees reminded me of my misdeeds. The porno magazine buyers are too embarrassed to make their move. Plot Summary At the Kwik-E-Mart, Apu is exhausted after Manjula brings the octuplets to the store. Okay, okay. HOMER: Apu is cheating. So they proceed to have the most awkward and uncomfortable dinner party of all time, before they make the kids dress up like Ganesha and command Apu and Manjula to get back together. Look who's here! Take Away: Infidelity sucks, and it’s a lot of real work to repair the damage that it can wrought. Okay. Look. Transcripts Wiki is a FANDOM TV Community. Okay, Buster, what is going on? A keg of beer and a six-pack to hold me until I tap the keg. Hey, Kirk Van Houten. Apu first appeared in 1990, in the episode “The Telltale Head.” I was afraid it would start me drinking again, but it didn't! The kids, plus a wife that isn't putting out, and Apu isn't feeling the best. But if we remind Apu and Manjula of why they fell in love, maybe they can work out their problems. “The Sweetest Apu” was written by John Swartzwelder and directed by Matthew Nastuk, 2002. Yes. Haven't you? Oh, I'm just happy to lie here appreciating and respecting you. "The Sweetest Apu" "Little Girl in the Big Ten" "The Frying Game" "Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge" Craoladh an naoú eipeasóid déag, "The Sweetest Apu", den tr íú sraith déag de The Simpsons ar an 5 Bealtaine 2002. Hassle in the Castle (Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! And after all of the demands are met, Manjula lets him back to the house, and they begin the arduous task to repairing their trust, love, and relationship. Yes, but look at the deliveryman. In a Civil War reenactment, we need lots of Indians to shoot. Simpsonology. D'fhéach 11.8 milliún duine ar an eipeasóid. This does not go well, and Manjula ends up serving Apu divorce papers. Let's tell Krusty. ACT ONE. Caramel baloney. (WHIMPERING) Oh, I am so sorry, Manjula. Cleanup in all the aisles. After getting food poisoning from eating Kwik-E-Mart food, Homer gets Apu fired, and Apu comes to stay with the Simpsons. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Mock! It was magic. In the episode, Homer and his wife Marge discover that convenience store owner Apu is having an affair with the Squishee delivery lady working in his store. Yes. ( Log Out /  (NEIGHING) Whoa. Have you come to forgive me? Hey, Apu, I think she likes you. As we see when Manjula has brought the children to Kwik-E-Mart. Grape. Oh! Which raises the question, why is this a thing? I know you must get this all the time, but can I suggest a flavor? If you're gonna be General Grant, you have to have a drink. Since they obviously can’t not meddle. Wait, wait! This isn't on the list! Mmm. That seems insane. It's been a rough month. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. Why aren't you pressuring me for sex? What is it that you want to tell me? Oh, I hope no one makes any double entendres. (BOTH MOANING). Tagged as: 2002, Lifetime of Simpsons, Season 13, the Simpsons, The Sweetest Apu. "Eliza, where the devil are my slippers?" Welcome back to Inside The Actors Studio. The Simpsons 9F01 - Homer the Heretic Episode Script. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on May 5, 2002. You can't thank us enough! Hey, pally. Are you sure you can get your deposit back? " Then I shred the list and put it in his food. All right, Mendoza! Hell, even Professor Frink has a crazy Wild Wild West robotic spider. Meet me at the mail slot. Today's the day we play badminton with them. All right. Kids, we want to talk to you about something. You're the jerk. "Number five, wear nametag that says same. Go ahead. If you’re a Simpsons fan (or you have spent basically any time on social media, ever), you might be familiar with controversy over the character Apu Nahasapeemapetilon from THE SIMPSONS. (WHISTLING) Come on. Added: 05.05.2002. watch 01:38. I know a great nametag place. Tonight, Matt and Robbie discuss Episode DABF14, The Sweetest Apu, the nineteenth episode of Season Thirteen. Everyone is being incompetent and inaccurate, Disco Stu is Stonewall Jackson, people are just beating each other up, and the keg even gets whaled on and stabbed with a bayonet. So cold. (GROANING) Now, Manjula, do you want me to find another partner? Not tonight. Please, can you just take the children home? Come here a moment! I get that a lot. It's this thing! Plot; Production and cultural references Because man do they have to pull off narrative gymnastics to find a reason to get Marge and Homer involved. Very good. Don't be a jerk. Uh, we didn't order that. I think he's building to something. (PEOPLE HOOTING) Uh-oh. Cart Episode 1F10, Season 5 First aired Feb 10, 1994 Written by Greg Daniels Directed by Mark Kirkland. They decide to keep Apu’s wife Manjula from finding out about it. But while Homer’s busy coming up with an excuse for why the keg is in such bad shape, he notices that Apu seems to be missing from the store. Now, the actual battle was fought over there where that man is standing, but he won't move, so we'll do it here. Whenever you are ready. Maybe we can't rush things. With Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith. I need payback! Thank you very much, you big fat blabbermouth! (WOMAN GIGGLING) (MUTTERING) That giggle is none of my business, or is it? No, no, let's just keep playing. Now can we meet McBain? He goes and actually ends things with the Squishee lady, lets Homer ride him like a horse, gets a cartoon published in the New Yorker, and stars in a production of My Fair Lady with an all octuplet cast. Apu, you have completed the list. (WHOOPING) Wait a minute! The Simpsons AABF11 - I'm With Cupid Episode Script. Apu, the son: Subir Banerji Auntie Indira: Chunibala Photography by Subrata Mitra Music by Ravi Shankar Script and direction by Satyajit Ray Who is that? The Sweetest Apu “Oh, Squishee Lady, you've had less than eight kids, haven't you?” Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “The Sweetest Apu” is the nineteenth episode of Season 13. I still have feelings for Apu. Let's go, children. You, dead people, stop playing cards! You might hear from your friends or co-workers that Apu isn't living at home anymore. I am scum. I want him to suffer. Cookie! Or you could talk to Apu. (CRYING) Yes, you are scum. Watch and learn, you dinks. Mmm-hmm. (EXCLAIMING) It's true. Complete Transcripts. Even better! And using some sort of marriage intuition, she realizes that Homer saw Apu having an affair, and the two start trying to figure out what they should do about it. Oh, Apu, I want us to be a family again. APU That's a dollar-eighty-five. So they go to Apu’s creepy apartment, stop him from committing suicide, and give him a list of demands to earn his way back to the marriage. Why don't we play this? Well, when Homer does something wrong, I write a list of ways he can make it up to me. (BOTH GRUNTING) Oh, Apu, you keep scoring while my back is turned. They miss their father. I am Ganesh, your god. Lauding your legacy is a labor of love. We have to do something to save that marriage. (GASPING) Apu! No! The show used to get great laughs out of intentionally lame stuff (“A master craftsman can build three mailboxes an hour!”), but those were just isolated jokes. You're not in any physical pain, the only kind of pain a man can understand. With the stepping and the squishing and the webs made of nylon. That's sad. But after Marge starts weeping while watching a video of Apu and Manjula’s wedding, that she has for some reason, she decides that they need to fix thing. The show’s obsession with keeping us up to date on the high and lows of the life of Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. Directed by Matthew Nastuk. At the end of the day though I guess they had a good time, and Homer head to the Kwik-E-Mart to return the now severely damaged keg. It's Windelle. Here you go. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on May 5, 2002. Hey, you know what strikes me as weird? The Sweetest Apu Dr Karma. Pow, pow. An old college friend talks him into a visit up-country to a village wedding. Don't go Mary Todd on us. (CRYING) Here, guys. (EXCLAIMING) Hey, you're right. Oh, this is so awkward. (APU AND ANNETTE GIGGLING) (GROANING) (APU AND ANNETTE MOANING) Please do the Hindu that you do so well. I liked all the roles filled by minority actors. In the episode, Homer and his wife Marge discover that convenience store owner Apu is having an affair with the Squishee delivery lady working in his store. Let me get into character. Die, you bastard. Yes, back to our marital closeness. You're the jerk! He took a Cockney flower girl and turned her into My Fair Lady. Provided you complete these tasks. Why do you always take the side of local merchants? The Sweetest Apu (Apu) Krusty Gets Kancelled (Krusty) Marge In Chains (Chief Wiggum) Winner: The Sweetest Apu (Apu) Best Supporting Actress. (BOTH GROANING) I know you have all gone to a lot of trouble to meddle in my affairs, but you cannot change my mind with one night of blasphemy and store-bought tandoori. A girl in the bar! There’s apparently a big Civil War reenactment going on, and they’re picking up a keg of beer. “The Sweetest Apu” is very much in the same vein. Mommy Will You Let Daddy Come Back? (EXCLAIMING) (GASPING) The Squishee Lady! I love the way his optimism is challenged sometimes, because mine is too. Tell that woman it's over between you and her. How did you find out? Before you measure my syrup levels, I must talk to you. Thanks. (GUNS FIRING) (GUNS FIRING) BROKAW: We are gathered here this Memorial Day to once again honor you World War II veterans. What's the score? Edit. Well, that's a no-brainer. I’m sure that this will never be brought up again, so it actually was fixed quickly, but the end of the episode makes it seem like Apu and Manjula were going to be in rough shape, but were going to work things out. Now, Apu, when you gave me this keg, it had dents. (BOTH SIGHING) So, back in the old bed. I don’t really have anything against Apu, but he seems like a weird character to have become obsessed with. I mean 30-love! The Third Grade (15 Quotes) DABF21 Helter Shelter (10 Quotes) DABF22 How I Spent My Strummer Vacation (11 Quotes) … Truly, you are the greatest generation. History Comments Share. Springfield. HOMER: Good show! ANNETTE: Oh, Apu, scratch and win! First thing in the morning, I promise. As much as I enjoy your company, and I truly do, I must insist that from this point forward, we not Oh, my goodness! Well, I do, but I don't want him to think that I am a doormat. (FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING) (EXCLAIMING) The South will boogie again! ( Log Out /  So Homer, stunned, leaves the Kwik-E-Mart and makes his way awkwardly home, not sure what to do about what he just witnessed. Are you absolutely sure? Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. The Sweetest Apu (S13, E19-288) Now, see, if a guy tried this, it would be seen as creepy and/or sick. In my role as customer, I saw the whole thing. Because legally, I am allowed to shake him by the ankles and see what falls out. ), https://transcripts.fandom.com/wiki/The_Sweetest_Apu?oldid=165432. Sounds like America's enemies are at it again. Where do you want the Fudge Mahal? Some special time. Oh, a challenge! (SNIFFING) Is that Windex? Tonight, we invite both Manjula and Apu for dinner, but we don't tell them the other one's coming. " SS is dedicated to The Simpsons and host to thousands of free TV show episode scripts and screencaps, cartoon framegrabs and movie scripts. When Homer accidentally catches Apu cheating on his wife in the Kwik-E-Mart, he struggles to keep the news to himself. Keep it coming, Brokaw! Oh. I can't afford Windex. I mean, anyone for penis? The Sweetest Apu is part of the The Simpsons (season 13) series, a good topic. He already knows. Ow! I have to warn you, Apu does not have very much money. We've met Rainier Wolfcastle, actor, novelist, barbecue sauce spokesman. I'll let you win. "The Sweetest Apu" is the nineteenth episode of The Simpsons' thirteenth season. But I cannot come. APU: Mmm! If you give me another chance, I'll do anything to make it up to you. Contents. (LAUGHING) Perhaps. All those kids. (GASPING) (CRYING) Manjula, please. You're damn right, it is! The episode starts off by showing us how stressful and kind of awful Apu’s life is currently, as demonstrated by showing his eight horrible toddlers destroying his store. Yes, I'm afraid so. This is supposed to be our special time together. (HUMMING) No offense, but you remind me of the monkey man who slaughtered my family's chickens. We will know when it feels right again. Hit with stick. FRINK: The nylon has been released! (SINGING) The Simpsons (TIRES SCREECHING) D'oh! This isn't easy, so I'm just gonna come out and say it. (SIGHING) Okay, Apu, be strong. SS is dedicated to The Simpsons and host to thousands of free TV show episode scripts and screencaps, cartoon framegrabs and movie scripts. The Sweetest Apu: 05/05/2002: DABF15 : Little Girl in the Big Ten: 05/12/2002: DABF16 : The Frying Game: 05/19/2002: DABF17 : Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge: 05/22/2002: NOTE: Due to ongoing news coverage and other scheduling problems related to the events of September 11, Fox broadcast the thirteenth season's Halloween special in November, as as a "special edition" of the series. November 16, 2018. "Number two, lose weight. I understand. Oh, this is just too inaccurate. The Indian rope trick has become the Indian nope trick. I Sorry, sorry. It's established in the case of Lawyers v. Look. It only happened once, but I am so ashamed. ( Log Out /  While you talk, I'm just gonna help myself to some licorice rope. 'Cause if they don't (IMITATING LASER BLASTS) Manjula, we've got a special guest for you. You forgot to eat a light bulb. (CHUCKLING) That was a wonderful day for us. The face of divorce is not as beautiful as I had hoped. His reaction would be priceless. (GROANING) Whoa, ha-mahatama, hatama, hatama, hatama, hatama, hatama, hatama. Oh, Apu, you are such a Brahma queen. Bravo! DABF14 The Sweetest Apu (28 Quotes) DABF15 Little Girl In The Big Ten (30 Quotes) DABF16 The Frying Game (28 Quotes) DABF17 Poppa's Got A Brand New Badge (33 Quotes) DABF18 Large Marge (15 Quotes) DABF19 Treehouse Of Horror XIII (25 Quotes) DABF20 Bart Vs. Lisa Vs. Know your life has hit rock bottom is you ’ re peers Kirk. To talk to you the day we play badminton with them '' is the nineteenth episode of the Simpsons TIRES. They ’ re picking up a keg of beer and a six-pack to hold me until the sweetest apu script tap keg... ) Okay, Apu does not have very much money famed Kwik-E-Mart, Apu, I 'm gon... Humming ) no offense, but can I suggest a flavor operator of the Simpsons and host thousands. Good articles under the good article criteria the sweetest apu script Manjula has brought the children to Kwik-E-Mart the Kwik-E-Mart, is what. 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